Another milestone…A letter for my second daughter

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“And though she be but little…she is fierce!”

There is no better description for you my dear 2nd born.

You are fierce in your soul, wicked sharp in your mind, and truly one of the most observant people I have ever had the honor of knowing.

You graduated from the 8th grade this past month, and I admit this milestone left me reeling for more reasons than I can decipher fully yet.

But for you, I will try to. And so…..a letter for you my dear girl. For you and you alone.

Dearest 2nd born,

You came into this world 14 years ago exhibiting a quiet strength I envied almost immediately. I was scared to death when I found that you were coming, because I did not know how there could be enough room in my heart to love another child the way I had fallen so madly in love with your big sister. You, my dear girl, obliterated that from the first moment I laid eyes on your gorgeous spirit. My heart was immediately overflowing with a profound and immeasurable love for every single sound that you made. Every breath that you took seemed to be in exact rhythm with that of the beating of my heart.

And here we are, 14 years later, and I feel exactly the same as I did the moment I had the honor of meeting you.

You came into this world stubborn, strong, lovely, and fragile. Your sweet spirit becoming more and more evident as the years have passed by.

There are so many things that I want to tell you my dear girl, so very many things. I have shared with you my story from a very young age in hopes that you will take heed and make better choices along your own journey. And that you have done indeed my sweet girl.

I have watched you navigate through out this past year with more grace and dignity than most adults are capable of. You have been honest about your feelings, but careful to not allow them to fuel any anger within your spirit. You my dear girl, have trusted me when others did not, and had my back when others questioned my choices. You have spoken truth that is hard to hear yet presented it in a way that exhibited more poise than that of 10 grown women.

You are strong, you are wise, you are solid, and you are beautiful. And so I find myself wondering what advice I could possibly give you over the next four years that will be sufficient…..so instead….I will make you some promises. As I did to your sister….that you may always know where the heart of your Mama lies….no matter where we are, or what we are doing.

I promise dear girl, to always be here for you. Our family dynamic has changed, but we are still a family. I promise to hold you when you cry. To not pry. To stand by your side as you decipher who should be in your world, and who should not. I will shop with you (which you KNOW how much I love that…lol) for every prom dress, every special outfit, and I promise to keep my crazy at below a 5 the first time I must come face to face with the first silly boy who is trying to come steal you away from me. I promise to continue trying with all of my heart to co parent effectively with your father, and more than anything else my dear, dear girl….I promise to always be a soft spot for you to land.

I cannot promise to be the perfect Mom, but I can promise that I will continue to try and be a woman you are proud to call your Mama. I promise to continue on my own journey to healing and wholeness that you might be proud of the example I have attempted to set. I promise to continue to try to empower you with the ability to make good choices. And be honest in my faults. That you may know that it is one of the most beautiful things in the world, when a woman can be tough and tender simultaneously.

And with all of that said….I now way what you have heard me say a thousand times before. Be YOU my dear girl. Be YOU.

Do not allow the trials of this life to taint your views of the world. Continue seeking knowledge and beauty. Dream. Breath. Travel. Love. Laugh from your soul. Smile. Continue to love and be there for others, but never do that at the cost of your own heart, or your own self.

YOU are exquisite my dear girl. You will change the world one person at a time. You are beautiful, and I am honored to be on this journey with you. Please remember that as we embark on the next 4 years, and remember that when I say no…it will be because I possess a wisdom you have only begun to understand.

I love you today, tomorrow, and always. Thank you for being YOU. May you NEVER be anything else.

Love always,

Your Mama

xoxoxoxoxoxo

May 7th Photo-A-Day Challenge: Trees!

May Photo-A-Day Challenge: Trees!

Supposed to be trees today. So, you will see trees in the background. Lots of native foliage in fact to Boquete region of Panama where we were when I took this picture.

But of course, what I saw was the beautiful Indian woman. Working diligently to start the fire needed to prepare that evenings meal. Her and her family had traveled by foot for who knows how many days. She was doing nothing more than the same thing she does every day. And yet…I was enamored with her. Amazed by her quiet strength. Her subtle beauty. Her being.

I don’t know what it is about my soul that desires to walk with those like her, and every other culture. If able, I would have gladly strapped on a bag, and went home with her. Living where they live. Eating what they eat. Working as hard as they work. I vow to Someday….do exactly that.

Wanderlust consumes my very soul. And….I wouldn’t have it any other way.

May 6th Photo-A-Day Challeng: Beverages!

May 6th Photo-A-Day Challeng: Beverages!

When I get exhausted with daily things…I find myself reminiscing about our time in Central America. I find my heart longing for it. I loved everything about the sights, smells, tastes, and experiences we had there. Even the painful experiences. I loved them all.

Here you will see one of my favorite photos from our time visiting with the indigenous tribes of Panama’s Boquete region. These sweet girls were so excited to have been given these juices! The Ngöbe Bugle are a beautiful people plagued by a thousand things I care not get into at this moment. Because none the less, they are beautiful. Their very presence humbled me. Many of them, had never seen a blond haired, green eyed white woman before. It was an eye opening, and beautiful experience that I will NEVER forget. One that I have committed to having again sometime within the near future.

May 5th Photo-A-Day Challenge: Clouds!

cloudsThis is a re-blogged picture from last years challenge. I searched and searched for a picture better, and could not find one that I had taken. I also attempted to take one…nothing. So, enjoy this piece of pretty again this year folks, as it is by far my most beautiful captured image to date. xoxoxo!

May 4th Photo-A-Day Challenge: Something I cannot live without!

May 4th Photo-A-Day Challenge: Something I cannot live without!

Espresso.
It’s deep aroma fills the space that it inhabits.
The smell taking me back to different places within the recess of my mind.
It is exciting. Fulfilling. Intoxicating.

It is more than a cup of Espresso.
It is an experience.