A whirlwind of changes yet again, have left me embracing my own fragility.
Fragile is not something I would have ever been comfortable describing myself as before. Not completely comfortable with it now. However, I recognize that there are parts of my being that are tender, raw, and vulnerable. And for the first time in my life, I am coming to a place where I can appreciate that. The weight of having to be strong all of the time, slowly being lifted.
Embracing the damage that was done. Choosing to heal from it. As painful as it is, I choose daily to be better.
I choose to stare down the insecurities that plague me, and believe that I AM WORTHY OF BEING LOVED. Never having realized before, that I was hiding behind my own capacity to love, yet not believing that I was worthy of receiving it. The most painful realization has been seeing myself for all of the strengths that I embody, yet fully recognizing that beliving that “I am not good enough” negates those strengths.
It matters not, how I came to believe that I am not enough….it only matters that I choose to embrace that I am.
It matters not, how I came to believe that I am not worthy of being loved….it only matters that I accept that I do.
It matters not, why I feel alone in a room full of people on some days…..it only matters that I will choose to escape the loneliness, and learn how to live again.
I am enough. I am not perfect. But I am MORE than enough.
I am reminded of this daily when I see the love in my childrens eyes. When I hear my friends tell me they love me, and that they have my back….and I do not doubt that they mean it.
I see that I am enough when I hear the genuine joy escaping the lips of my children as they begin to laugh again from their souls. I see them healing. I see them loving. Without fear of rejection, or abandonment…they love. They inspire me to do the same.
And while my heart will likely always be closely guarded and protected, the courage I see within the children I have been blessed to have in my life strengthens me and uplifts me in a way I cannot do justice to with mere words.
So today I say, I am enough.
I am strong. I am love. I am blessed. I am me.
I am powerful. I am loved. I am humbled. I am me.
I am me. And I am enough.